Don't let job and discipline blues leave
NO FIGHT IN THE DOG

DEAR ELLIE:
I’m a recent divorcee’ and single mother and have been looking for a job for weeks. That is until I ran into a friend at the grocery store. During the course of our small talk she offered me a job at the office where she is manager. It sounded like a good opportunity, but It turns out that the business is so severely mismanaged that it’s impossible for me to do my job. To make it worse, I’m being paid less than I was told and the owner is constantly rude, condescending and makes me the scapegoat for problems that are obviously not in my control. I’m concerned about our friendship because I might seem ungrateful, but I’m certain at some point the owner will push me too far. I don’t know what to do.

—Cubical Captive

DEAR CAPTIVE:
First, what NOT to do. Nobody likes the dog who barks all the time. Don’t be the one who is constantly complaining to coworkers. One thing that dogs do well is hunt. While it might be nice to find an easy meal, especially when you’re so hungry, the hunt continues. Keep your cool and keep looking. Don’t walk away from the easy meal until you see that big game wander from the herd. You’ll be fed just well enough to strike when given the chance. An office like the one you describe is likely used to high turnover and if your friend is really a friend, she’ll be happy that you found something better.

—Ellie

DEAR ELLIE:
I am grandmother of a six-year-old boy. It seems my daughter is not much of a disciplinarian because every time the boy comes for a visit he is out of control and I wind up spending all of our time together scolding. I’ve talked to my daughter about the problem, but she just agrees and nothing changes. Help! I want to spoil my grandchildren, not spank them!

—Growling Granny

DEAR DO RUN RUN:
I know that when a pup is picked up by the scruff of the neck, there is no squirming or barking. The adult dog has complete control. This is an instinctive parenting technique known to nearly every dog on the planet. It’s all about consistency. First you need “house rules” and consequences, such as the popular “time out.” Perhaps equally important might be the positive reward given when the rules are followed. A little conditioning and your grandson will be as polite as Pavlov’s dogs. I know it can be overwhelming, but don’t be afraid to show your teeth and mark your territory!

—Ellie